Date: 11/01/2005
Day: Tuesday
Time: 12.30pm
haha... this is the second day of the week that i am going to give this job consideration..wether to stay or to leave... that is the question... is this wat i want.... does this place allow me to grow in knowledge and skills...
Well... to summarise the skills that i have learnt for the past one week and one day...i learnt how to pick up calls properly...how not to tell ppl that i am new... how to fake knowledgeable when i dunt know anything... how to eat lunch with myself... how to migrate to a different table everyday... first day sit around....2nd day sit on leader desk.. 3rd and 4th day sit on boss desk... 5th day sit at someones desk... yesterday sit at someones desk then migrate to boss desk...then today.. sitting at boss desk again... Its amazing how i was told to start picking up calls on the second day of work...and giving fake advise to users..lalala...

Location: Office
Feelings now: Now toking to some person called Dorcas Tan... she trying to make the notifications of her lotus notes work properly... last time can work.. now cannot... dunno why... so now trying to get remote access to her pc to help see see wether can help her set set or not...lalalallalalala..four and a half more days till my trial for myself is over... otherwise.... lalalalala... madness to the unemployed..Haizz... wanna chat with someone..but i keep on finding myself complaining whenever i start chatting...then i would feel all depressed about my situation here... i noe that i can learn alot of things here if i have the heart to do so... but then i think that i dont have the heart to learn all these new things because i am trying to resist the changes in my life... the comforts of being the best there was around in the department... the safehouse feeling...haha... now i complaining to the notepad liao...hahaha...

Haizz... today is thursday....my 4th day of work at my new place...
Wanted to put in all my feelings that i had on the first day but was too depressed to do so...

Really miss all my friends at SIA... all the people that i knew... all the ppl that knew me...haizz
Didnt realise how much their companionship meant to me until the very last moment...its as what people says "You dont know what you have until you lose them, so treasure every moment that you have."

Well... speaking about my new place... well... its located in a bank in Suntec... dun think i will disclose the banks name in case i get caught...working as an onsite helpdesk analyst...sounds nice right...."Analyst".. which means to analyse things... yup... and i am so analysing at my workplace... analysing what the heck the caller on the line is thinking....

Everyday i keep on asking myself a few questions "Is this what i really want? Is this what i want to pursue... is this the line of work that would allow me to show my fullest potential..will i shine through like i always do when i am concentrated on my work?? Do i regret my decision to leave SIA at a moment like this? Did i really want to leave SIA? Do i really want to climb up the social and corporate ladder and to rise among the talents??" all these questions keep bugging my mind...haizz...

Long ago while i was in SIA... everytime i kanna from mike.. i would feel like leaving and just leave the work for others to carry... but everytime something would stop me... i think its because i dunt want my friends to get too overloaded... too stressed...too frustrated...so i have always been unable to be successful in my job interviews.. and if i were to be quite successful... so thing would happen and i would lose the job.... haha... its as though GOD knew of the promise that i made to myself that i would only leave after the whole project was over...

But now my heart keeps on telling me to just run away... find somewhere else to hide... this job doesnt suit me.... i am not liked...not welcomed... Its so bad that i feel that i would explode or breakdown anytime soon... I was telling myself a year back that my status in SIA would never move forward... i would never be promoted... there would never be a pay rise...and i want to move to somewhere else where i can be promoted or at least go up one or two levels.. i dunt ask for more nor aspire to become a CEO... i just want to be rewarded for my hard work that i have given to the company...

And now that i have landed in a place where the possibility to move forward.... to be able to be rewarded for hard work... a place where i might get some recogniation... a place where promotion is possible....and i AM NOT HAPPY.... Why am i not happy???

Isit because i dont have a desk that i can call my own.... isit because i dont even have a chair to sit on.... isit because i dont feel welcome to their group.... isit because everyone seems so powerful and skillful.... isit because i dont even get a proper briefing from my boss....nor a proper orientation.... isit because everything is so restrictive... isit because i cant speak my mother tounge to anyone... isit because i was lazying around too much in SIA though i worked as hard.... isit because i dont feel comfortable to new places, new people, new attitudes...isit because there seems to be a lack of belonging that i feel....

WHY AM I FEELING THIS???? I used to be able to adjust... i used to be able to accept changes like the clouds accept the wind... i used to be able to cope with learning new things... i used to be power orientated.... i used to like a challenge...WHY??? WHY?? WHY???

My friends keep on telling me that its going to take sometime before i get used to the enviroment... but how do you get used to an enviroment where there is no proper place for you to work on... no proper place for me to even store my bag nor my cup...my paper, my book, my pens...NO.... i have nonthing.... I finally understand how some of my friends felt during their first week at Sia... but thats all too different too....Sia didnt expect us to work like experts on their second day at work.... didnt expect us not to call ourself a newbie...didnt exert pressure and stress on us..... ARGG.... i feel so depressed..... i am so sinking into depression..... DEPRESSION!!!!... haizz... i better stop this before i become obsessed...... arggggg....

Well... its finally the day... the day that i would be leaving SIA. The day that i wanted a few months back and now i kinda hate wanting to leave.

Went around asking those ppl that i wanna give presents wether they were going to be around on friday so that i can pass to them the presents and informing them of my departure from the company... and i was so sad and surprising to hear how much they wanted me to stay... Sebbie talked to me and asked me why i didnt wanna stay and went on to say how i could be offered a perm position and some scholarship to further my studies...blah blah... Then Devi also talked to me saying sad ps had been feeling after being informed of my impending departure... then she als sy she very sad that i am leaving and asked me why i didnt wanna stay... and that if i continued until march.. it could have given ps ample time to do something for my situation. Then i replied saying that ps had already talked to me about it and that i would definately be back if the opportunity arises... and that the reason that i wanted to leave was that the project have been completed and that there wasnt any more tasks for me to do....Then she told me to relax.. after working so hard for so long.... then i said that if they had told me about their plans earlier, i wouldnt have decided to leave the company.... blar blar blar...hohhoho

After the conversation with devi, i felt so touched that there were so many ppl that actually cared and treasured my existence in the company and they would like me to be around much much longer...if i werent going overseas...hehe..

Then after i went back to my place to do some things... taichi man told me that james was looking for me.... so i was thinking die liao... got problem liao...hehe.. so i called him and he said that he was coming down to look for me.... then he said that he heard that i was leaving on friday and he thanked me for all the work i have done.. all the help and he gave me ten points for my work.... hehe.. feel so proud... nobody has ever graded me before for my work... first time wor... so touched...even james is thankful for my work... haizz...

Why must everyone wait until the last day to appreciate me and thank me for my work... if they had done it earlier... i wouldnt have been in a rush to go..... hohohoho.....

Well...time really flies and it has been two and a half years that i have been in the company working under the flag of SAP data migration..i really miss everyone that has left even though i didnt show it on my face... it was really rare for a big group of ppl with the same ideas, similar backgrounds, and gender to be together working together...still remeber the first time we worked OT we worked until 8pm checking SAMEIS printout.... hehe

I miss wendy, lanxi, shannon, jerlyn, zwin, sarah, siti, siewfong, doris, eslynn, cindy.....the times we shared together be it short or long.... be it best of collegues...or just plain friends..

Haizz... have been crying on the bus trips for this past week... dunno why i feel so sad this time now that i am leaving with no worries and that everyone else that i knew were gone.... dunno why... isit because i know that we would be together seperated and that our fate has ended now and today..... its like god is telling be to be thankful and that you would never step back into Sia for the rest of your life..... its true its true...!!!

ok lar... i need to end this now to give myself time to cry my heart out...and finish writing all the goodbye cards....bye bye!!!

Ooi ooi today is blog updating day..... After an extra long weekend, i returned back to office with work blues and Maple Story withdrawal syndroms... Well... sad to say that even though there was an extra long weekend.... i didnt managed to go out slack with my friends as most of my buddies were having to prepare their Uni exams..... so sad... in the end slack at home and maple all day long....

Den hor.... to kill my boredom away i started to come out with new designs for my webpage incorporating colorful backgrounds and imaging... So far i have published two of my web design works on deviantart. My page is at here. So far i have posted 8 works of mine.... most are coloring work mimiking other ppls styles and ideas... cause i got no creative juices of my own... maybe i could post some of the posters that i made for the D&D and just remove the headings from engineering to something else...and SIA to SAI.... hehe... hmm.. good idea.. wuu huu..

Well.... next week i am gonna tell my boss formally that i would be leaving the company once my current contract expires and i would not extend the contract even if there was a possibility of doing so..... cause SIA has no reasons for me to stay anymore....if i really got yuan to work for them.... fate would decide....lalalalalalalalala..

THE END!!!

Wah.... it has been one week since i updated here.... Well... not much interesting things happened to me for this past week... just that i got addicted to a new online game called Maple Story. I have been playing it for a week or so now... and i have managed to train my Swordsman character to level 23 liao.... so difficult man..... Well... even though i have managed to level up to 23... i abit regret cause i didnt immediately convert from a beginner to a warrior on level 10 cause a didnt know much about the game and anyhow used up my ability points... now everything is moving abit slowly....my leveling is slow and slow and i cant hit those fast moving monsters well...haizz....

Den hor... i feeling a bit bored with my character den i went to create an archer for myself.... wanted to testing wether being an archer character would be more interesting or not.... hehe... den play for a while ok lar.... an archer is only effective with his arrows..at long ranges....DUH.... hehe.... den if got some fast moving slimes in big groups den cannot handle liao.... but den quite interesting being an archer lar....

Den hor.... i went back to my warrior character to do all the quests here and there lor... got one is need to jump through obstacles one to get a specific item.... that one i jump until i want to pull out my hair and bang the table....... it is simply very very the difficult.... play until i wanna ki siao.....but den justice shall prevail.... HAHAHAHA... i managed to complete the quest in a few hours of jumping....well.... so far so good.... hope that i can level up faster in these few days....

And one more thing..... luckily my stomach power is quite strong after suffering from intestinal infection two years back.... painful like mad.... its like giving birth... but no baby wanna come out that kind of pain..... cause i neber kanna anything after eating out on sunday.... but momma kanna intestinal infection..... she was so in pain that she have to take painkillers immediately.... otherwise will cannot make it.... lalalala..... So wats the moral of the story.... nothing... ...the end...

Deng deng deng deng..... deng deng deng deng...... tomorro is the day..... the day of the "Subaru Impreza Challenge"......the one which allows you to win a brand new car if you can be the last remaining person with the hand on the car.......

Well.... i sortof qualified for this challenge thingy..... by managing to be the ninth caller on the radio station 98.7Fm....which i thought that i would neber qualify....but den the opposite happened.... i qualified..... but this does not warrants me a chance to put my hand on the car.... tomorro there would be a draw for the final contestants out of a big number of ppl to be the final contestants for the challenge... but den hor... have to go for medical checkup... have to be at ngee ann city civic plaza at 8AM tomorro.... SO EARLY!!!....to register...

I believe that if i get to be one of the final contestants.... my destiny will be like this picture below...

Well........ may god bless upon on me the luck to make it to one of the final contestants so that i can at least get a 10% chance to try my endurance level... Xena power!!!!

May the force be with me!!

Well..... i feel pretty the screwed now..... feeling that the world is sometimes not fair to me..... and those ppl who are loners and ppl who warm up slower to other ppl around them......

Well...... i am those ppl who is slow to warm up and interact with other ppl and i prefer to be alone when i am with ppl who are too extrusive and hyper...i cant handle their need for everyone to be hyper with them..... which in the end would make me an unpopular person... hahaha...den nobody would care if i needed any care or concern.... and nobody would give me treats for no reason.... nobody would ask me if i needed something while they are out can sun bian get for me.... well.... that the fact lar.... when u are popular... ppl would do sun bian things for you.... when you are not.... even if it is beri beri the sun bian.... that person would find an excuse to reject your request..... so whats the moral of the story........... "Even if other ppl are not nice to you..... this doesnt give you the excuse not to be nice to other ppl... or even help other ppl sun bian do things for other ppl.... " The world does not revolve around me alone.... it contains other human beings... being jealous of others ppls haves and dont haves would not make the place a happier world.........

So... i must keep reminding myself that even if other ppl get more benefits than i do.... get more help den i do..... get more protection den i do.... get more popularity den i do..... it doesnt mean that i dunt mean anything to anyone out there in the world.... its just that it is not so obvious and known to me.....and that in the future... someone might do some favour out of sun bian for me....hahahhaha.... "The world is brighter on my side!!!".... haizz....

Well..... wondering why i am feeling this way..... its because i am jealous that nobody treats me well around here in SIA...... nobody treats me as a bonus item.... someone whom they like and treasure beri much....someone elses good friend....so this is pure jealousy..... in its purest form.... cold hard unloving jealousy.....so lalallallala.... neber fall into this pit of jealousy again...... the end......

Yours Truely.... jealous pefe

Its monday..... monday!!! another uneventful day for me... Well... i read through the rules and regulations for the Subaru WRX challenge in the morning today. Suddenly realise that if i managed to win the car, i would have to get the car registered withing three months and that i would be unable to exchange the car for cash...... which implys that i am unable to sell the car off if i get to win it..... so i am now thinking wether i should spend the effort of fighting for the car by standing in one spot until i get foot rot.... dislocated palm and shoulders just to sell off the car..... which i have no money to buy the COE... the road tax... the insurance... blar blar blar for....

Well.... if i am gonna go for the challenge... i must go for a medical checkup....and if i am not going for the challenge.... den can save the money to pay for the installments of the car which dad just bought lor..... Aiyah.. why he bother to go and buy the car so the fast for what..... scarly i win the challenge den get the car(wishful thinking).... den can just go and buy COE can already... somemore its a nice sporty like car... with the extra trimmings such as spoilers.. sport rims.... and cool bucket seats... In case you are wondering what bucket seats are.... it is those kind of seats which is sort of molded like the shape of the backside with a very high side..... which kinda makes it beri the hard to get out of the seat...

Haizz....i beri the mao dun.... so near yet so far...... think i need a sign from above to let me know if i got the chance to actually qualify for the final contestants thingy..... or got chance to actually win the damn car..... haizz...haizzz... haizzz.... zui jing bi jiao fan.... haha...

Well.... i have to agree that humans have berry good ways of decribing human behaviour. Such as the saying.... you reap what you sow.... or.... what goes around comes around....

Recently i have been observing mike's reactions to him asking taichi man to do work. He would give instructions to taichi man to do this do that.... den taichi man would answer okok... But den when mike ask taichi man back what he have done already.... he would definately reply saying that he already ask seb or ask sara already wether it is there or not..... den he would say that they say dun have lar.... they haben do lar.... den faking quickly pick up the phone and call whichever unlucky soul lar.... Well... at first mike thinking that ok.... taichi man is doing his work.... but den this kinda of reply always comes back.... which is not one time or two times but everytime.... and mike was starting to suspect whether that super skillfully operation person is really actually doing the work assigned to him.

Sometimes mike would ask him to explain to him what taichi man have done and the steps that he tok to come to whatever resolution to the problems that he had.... taichi man would fumble madly and cannot answer all his questions.... no matter how simple it is. Then i got the feeling that mike is finally understanding that taichi man is not skillfull at all. His IT knowledge is all blowhorn one.... only know how to talk dunno how to do... Den happily mike tell mag that he feels that taichi man cannot make it...cannot do work properly and learn fast enough.

Well...... i am glad that mike is finally seeing some light that was shrouded in smoke and grey paint.... and to learn that some ppl are not who they make themselves to be like. Just like how my personality is..... to forgive and to forget if you show remose..... but to comdemn and destroy if you try to fake it up.... Lalallala.... vengence is finally showing its face... hohohohohoho

Yeah!!! my exams are officially over!!!..... wuu huu... so whats next.... hmm..

Well.... this is the first time that i have ever studied so hard for a maths paper before... doing equations over and over again... time and time again.... nearly finished using half a folscap pad. But den did this hard work paid off.... the answer is yes and no!!!... cause i didnt managed to properly finish my maths paper during the exams.... and i forgotten how to do a few of those questions.... so sad... to think that i understood what the question wanted but i forget wats the application like....

Den comes the relational database paper... wah.... it was easy and hard at the same time cause there was this question 1 & 2 which i had no idea how to answer it... the rest of the questions were so easy that i couldnt believe my eyes.... hmmm

Next comes the paper that i didnt have the mood to study for.... i looked through the specimen paper and solutions and didnt felt that that kinda of questions would come out for the exam... but oh behold!!!... it came out exactly(fake) the same as the specimen with slight twists... haizz... dont think that i am going to pass this java paper... did i mention java..... actually i like to do java programming.... but i hate all the writing down of program codes on paper... so unfriendly...

Well.... alls done that has to be done.... has to let heaven or god to decide liao.... cannot complain..... can only regret... life is so full of regrets.... whoever does not have regrets does not have a heart.... or brain... hehe...

And by the way..... YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!.... i managed to qualify for the perfect ten Subaru impreza WRX challenge.... wuu huuu.... but den i dun think that i would manage to get my hand a chance to put on the car cause got so the many ppl qualified... and i dun think they would put so the many cars out there lor... surely got some other round of qualification thingy... haizz...well... thats all for today...

Well..... i am so the feeling sleepy now... Must be slept too late last nite liao.... but doing maths until got the feeling.... so cannot stop halfway and switch to another..

Well... my exams are coming, i am gradually preparing and studying and revising for it now... i realise that i really forgotten alot of things liao lor.... espically in maths and db... i totally forget how to calculate velocity, do integration, calculate linear recurrance sequence.... this and that lor...

Den just recieved back my db TMA04... i only got 80++ marks.... but sadly i still haben get back my maths TMA wor... i scarded that it go missing again.... eaten and digested by his amazing mailbox... or happily become invisible in his house... or his house is so the big that he must take a few days to find someones mail..... argg... i just hope that i dun do badly in that TMA since it is the first maths TMA that i did it on my own powers.... pefe rulezz..

Happily as i am wrting this blog, sebastian from me company there see me writing this... den happily make comments that i am writing some best seller... and he wants to be my promoter... haha.... well.... he is the best equipment GOD that i know existing in SIA...

Den hor.... last week another of my SAP Officer friends leave the company liao..... so bloody de shocked.... onli heard from my friend on my birthday that she is going to leave soon, but i didnt expect that it would be soo the soon... she only gave one week notice... instead of the two weeks notice as required.... dunno how also.... But i learned something from her leaving, there have been too many ppl leaving us liao.... too the many until we numb and dunno what to do liao..... long long ago we used to hold big farewell dinners or lunches.... give them fablous farewell gifts... such as a collage of photos taken together, big cards with photos again.... makes me think what i am going to get when i leave since i dun have a big group of close SIA friends left liao.... think i might as well get ready my farewell present for myself first then fake tell them is somebody suggest the idea for them to do one..... HAHAHA....

Well.... thats all folks today.... so fun.... today taichi man is on one day leave.... nobody for me to be prepared against... nobody for me to understand how evil, cunning and backstabbing one can be.... but sadly... taichi man still got some more skills to learn in the art of being cunning, cause what he is doing..... what he is acting out for others to see..... i can see it so the crystal clear.... perfect vision somemore... lalallala... bye bye!!!

Erm...... well... i am officially 22nd liao.... so sad... old liao...

Hmm.... yest went to celebrate bday with me poly friends... whom i haben seen them for many months months months.... mixi looks so interesting now.... it seems that she has become more matured looking.... got the executive look now... hehe... den also saw weiqi and jac and kailing and xiujun..... Dunno wether i shld be feeling this... but i feel that 'someone' unfriendly to me yest... Well.. you kinda get back what you reap by what you sow.... and by being unfriendly with someone.... u get back unfriendlyness....

Hehe..... yest me friends at workplace held a fake mini celebration surprise for me in office. I had still not recovered from the shock that the lift that i took during lunch suddenly suffered a power failure and dropped a few centimetres down suddenly... and the lift did a E-brake... so stress... i thought that i was going to drop all the way down to the bottom and break my leg... but den HENG AR.....hehe.. At first i didnt suspect anything.... but the ppl behind me suddenly make many cups of drinks all of a sudden... and sandy was saying she go and collect something make me suspect that they are going to do something interesting.... den hor all my Sap Officers friend suddenly came down den i know liao wat was going to happen.... den all of a sudden i turn to the right i see my boss holding a cake with a single candle to me...so paiseh.... so stress... many eyes looking at me....i wanna hide inside hole hole...den after that is the normal thing lor.... make wish to get a good job and leave the company soon... den blow candle.... den cut cake..... Hmm, didnt know that there was some 'higher knowledge' in cutting bday cake... the bday person is not supposed to pull the whole knife out after cutting wor.... have to let someone else do it.... dunno must like that one....well...wats done is done... Well.... it was a warming, fun and weird celebration... warming in the sense that it has been a long long time since it was so noisy, crowded here at my side, and that many ppl purpely make time to help me celebrate... fun was that get to recieve my cute present... and weird is that first time have soon kuei, sui mai for celebration...hehe

Well....den at night go eat billy bombers at tamp... didnt know that they had an outlet there... long time neber go there eat liao... ate so full that tummy become beri extra round... den have to walk around fake pregnant....hehe... den had a corny talk with kailing when we went down to find zzz... and not she find me... well... guess u cant be everyones good friend bah...

And now..... ** THE END **

Well..... firstly... i wanna wish myself Happy 22nd Birthday!!!.... Beri the "bhb" right?? Well.... i feel so the old today......22nd is not like 21st... u get to use the word "nd"..... so old.... so old.... I feel so ancient now.....Well.... to commerate this occasion.... i post this image below...

Well.... the quote suits me who is living in Singapore at the moment.... cause hor... we are currently having a shortage of eggs here.... due to the outbreak of bird flu in my neighbouring country Malaysia...Den cannot import eggs.... cannot import chicken.... den have to import from Aust.... which caused the price of eggs to shoot up to 60cents per egg....So now since it is so the expensive to buy the eggs.... the food hawkers have stopped including eggs in their dishes... such as "Ban Mee" no egg use fishball to replace.... "Fried oyster" use half an egg instead of a whole egg or two... den..... some ppl eben stopped selling all together.... so this year will be a cakeless, chickenless and eggless Sept the 14th.... wuu huu..... yeah.... lets all be healthy together....

Eh... its friday again... and i still have yet to complete doing my assignment as i am typing this. I was supposed to do one question while my friend did the other, but den she not free, den i will still have to do her parts too.... so sad..no free work...

Haizz.... these few days not feeling beri the well...not physically unwell... its mentally unwell.. keep on forgetting things, get upset over minor things, feeling angst, mad happy moods... mad sad moods.. Dunno what is causing me to have these problems.... Sibei sianzz man..

Well.... life is just not as perfect as you would like it to be.... speaking of lousy life... i this year like majiam do too many bad deeds liao like that... beri beri the unlucky sia... got chance interview no chance employed.... got chance employed kanna ppl take away... got another chance employed but would be stuck in same position over and over again.... Then happily eben play "scissors paper stone" also will lose unti chan chan.... Chan mali chan.... hei hei!.. chan mali chan... Hei!!! Hei!!! Think i have to do 1001 good deeds to clear away the lousy luck.... but by the time i do finish 1001 deads.... cause i would already be dead...

Well... i think thats all for today............. peace!!

Argg.... i am feeling so the angry now that i wan to cry out loud or break something into many pieces..... Wat the FUC* man..... what the helll is he thinking when he said that he would accept my ideas.....................if i wanted it that way...... he bloody forgot that HE IS THE ONE WHO SAID TO IGNORE THAT equipment that didnt have its material number created in the system..... he said that it was OK...... now that another load got problems with this same part number again...... he said that cannot ignore.... must create...... then i just bloody tell him that last time he gave instructions to ignore that thing..... so now can ignore the same bloody thing..... he say cannot.... must ask other ppl to create the bloody part number...... den i noe that if create the bloody thing.... den my side have to manually create the rest of the equipment in the system..... using multiple transactions..... here and there when we have already signed off the bloody thing..... den if we manually create the bloody thing.... den we have to bloody ask the stupid consultants to reload the file for us again not knowing wether they would agree to load the thing considering that we decided to ignore that bloody thing the last time...... so now whats the problem with ignoring it again...... wats the bloody difference....... why the hell do u not want to listen to my explanination to make things easier to handle and understand..... why the hell do u want to bloody insist on doing other ppl things for them when u must bloody assume all the time that other ppl are always not cooperative and since other ppl are not doing we must do the thing for them so that we can get scolded for any other errors that are not errors in the future.... havent u learnt that lesson last time..... when bloody EC pushed the bloody pseudo for A320 to us to do..... havent u learn that once it do it for them they will expect u to do it for them forever and they bloody earn the bloody credit for doing a job well done.....FU** man!!!

Why am i still in this bloody company working for this bloody person who choose to have capable ppl beside him and not listen to other ppls suggestions and opionions..... when ppl give suggestions or recommendations.... u say ppl got attitude problem.....overridding ur leadership..... but do u noe the truth that u bloody leadership sucks big time.... instead of solving problems for u employees.... u create more problems for them.... making them more confused than they were originally.....den when i want to make it simplier for them again...he cannot take my bloody suggestions and happily say that since i put it that way he would bloody accept my decisions......now that i have finish typing what i wanted to shout out loud...... i still dun feel better in my heart..... just dun feel so much like crying liao.... but wats the difference..... there is no difference.... just that my desire to quit the job and move on has risen higher again...... to just leave the bloody shit to other ppl to smelll...... to roll in it..... now that the other team members know what do to how to check.... i can leave the place happily....regardless of wether i will get the bloody free ticket or not.... why the heck should i care when other ppl who are actual employees dun care.....!!!

Alot has happened to me for these past three days... and it seems that a longer time has passed.... Was doing OT for the past two days and nights.... do until mama saying that they thinking that we are iron human.... hehe... but den.. bo bian... even though our schedule was spaced out, but the amount of work and the manpower wasnt balanced lor... so have to work harder and faster and more skillfully lor....

Yesterday i worked from friday afternoon 2pm until the next day which was a saturday at 5.35 am..... and because our softcopy of an extract was not extracting the correct values, we had to go back to our manual ways to validations.... all together i think that i did around 5000 times of "alt TAB" and around 4000 times of "Ctrl C & Ctrl V" and around 10000 times double clicking of the mouse to select the values.... do until my fingers and my wrist like no feelings like that already.... couldnt use the computer at home properly when i got back.... like majiam fake hand like that....

Den..... now i am writing my blog in office doing OT again..... for some validation..... which is so the sian...... and i am now having some headache...... and feeling sleepy.... and I HAVE ASSIGNMENT DUE!!!!...... argg.... where got enough time for me to do all this..... die die die...

Speaking of time..... while i was doing my shifts.... the taichi man decided to come along for my shift.... and while we were slogging over the validation of the data, all he did was to fake see email..... fill in his OT form.... calculate other ppls OT time to see if they had filled in correct times..... calculate the total OT hours that we would accumlate...... that he will earn for nonthing cause he WAS DOING NONTHING WHILE I WAS SO BLOODY OCCUPIED..... and he doesnt have enough knowledge to answer my questions when i ask them..... all he can say is that there was a part number change serial number change..... but he cannot tell me why they want to change it..... and why there is errors in the reading.... and how to determine wether is EC or ED parts by looking at SAMEIS..... so why is he with me doing OT..... its because NO..... There must be someone which business knowledge around to help in case there are any errors to be solved or checked..... but den he doesnt have enough business knowledge to help me.... and when i ask and he doesnt know wat the heck i am doing.... and he doesnt even bother to ask me wat am i doing because i am being unfriendly with him...... HAHA.... So wats the moral of the story here.... the MOral of the story is that some ppl are just born to be more fortunate and they can just fake knowledgeable and be highly recongnised while other ppl like me have to slog for no recognation, no fame, no honor, no glory, and most of all no MONEY!!!...... haizz... thats life...

Well.... that all for today.... if i can make it i am going to do some major reading for my assignment.... which is so due this coming friday...... BYe bye

Oh.... its tuesday..... feeling so sleepy..... cant seem to fall asleep well and waking up feeling refreshed.

Yesterday the strangest thing happened to me sia, while i was toking, i suddenly feel that my ears like beri the warm like that, then face also warm warm.... and then my adrenaline suddenly shot up like i was really excited for something like that. Well..... being me... i ignore the weird sensations and kept on toking..... after finishing toking.... i decided to go to the loo loo loo to check if my face was red from the warmness..... then hold and behold!!! my entire face was glowing in a bright reddish pink..... my forehead too was reddish. It was as though somebody had given me some plentiful tight slaps...my pores were enlarged as though gasping for air like that..... i scarded sia.... then i quickly use water to wet my face and to also cool it down and reduce the warming effect.......its like global warming... there is no stopping it.... Argg!!!

Well....... dunno if i am experiencing stress or not... cause it seems that this time the data migration i like cannot handle unexpected happenings and errors cooly and calmly liao le... maybe its because have not been doing the actual validation myself and instead letting others do all the work...... hehe.... then like that will have lack of exercise...then during the shifts will cannot make it....

Yest heard that the other data validation team need not do a rotation shift for their activities... make me feel so unfortunate... that my side have to do it.... somemore that person side the leaders make the validators feel important and wanted and wanted tht person to take a break so tat can stay longer to validate and not stay late late or do shifts..... why i dun get this kinda of treatment.... life is so unfair...... But come to think of it... my leader did tell us to take a break before the actual shifts but we turned him down so as we could be able to make more Money$$$ and OT hours instead of spending it before we earned it. Nobody ever comes and tells us that we are important... that we are critical to the success and failure to the mission.... why leh???

Isit because that they trust us too much??? Isit because of my attitude problem???? Isit because my life is just so lousy to be treated as a gem or treasure??? Isit that ppl dun care about ugly ppl..??? Life is just too filled with too much isitss.... and unfair/fairness...... that have caused me to not have any true best friends.... Staying away from close relationships because i know that whats mine is actually fake mine... so whats the point in keeping something that is fake and acted out??? Haha..... now i am toking about my sad life again.... haizz... think i shld end this... well... thats all folks......

Hi Ppl again.... seems that these few days i got nonthing to do at work... so got plenty of time to update my blogs... hehe.... hope my boss dun accidently read this.... Well... did some wallpaper design today after seeing some nice emoticons that were uploaded on deviantart. Heres one sample of the emoticon...

Drooling....

Heres a link to my website in case nobody noes how to locate links... okok... that all folks..

Wah liew..... argg... i just accidently deleted one of my previous blog post....sianzz. Wanted to re-edit one of my previous post with a new link but in the end happily deleted the wrong thing...

Well.... last saturday i went to UOB to open up a new personal savings account so that i can apply for a debit card to use. Wah liew.... the stupid place had only one counter open to serve customers regarding new account openings... then happily i waited for around 45 mins. Got one freaking person like got alot to say like that happily toking at the counter for 45 mins...dunno wat the stupid account or accounts that person is opening... Then i think the branch manager say the queue beri long and the amount of unfriendly faces queueing around then she come and ask ask then help to alievate the situation. But then i had to wait for another 30 mins before my application was successful....wait until my flower also wither liao....now i have to wait for my debit card to come and then still have to go back to the bank to activate it and link it up with my account.