Date: 27/01/2005
Day: Thursday
Time: 11.24am
Wah low eh....today kanna from the Lotus notes support personal with regards to the mailbox compacting thing..sianzzz...then make me feeling so the unfriendly towards the two ppl at the notes support side.... maybe they are just trying to follow the rules strictly in getting user to die die must do this.. die die must do that....if neber do this then cannot do that lor....sianzz... I loved doing that to other ppl sometime back... but i stopped it after getting negative responses for ppl.... Maybe i shld try giving negative responses to them see wat can happen....
So sianzzz... saw my results onli got one module under distinction, the rest just pass onli with one grade c and the other pass...so sianzz... i got one grade C... cannot make it sia...lalala
Wah... just saw someones long ago picture... looks so meancing sia...but at the same time beautiful lar... seems to be a pic taken long ago...wat the fish man... if i know how to guide the user to fill in the bloody form for APARD i would have guided him to do so.... here some ppl ask me to refer to trm with regards to APARD... then now u telling me to guide the person by my bloody self.... win liao lor.... a minute ago i was thinking that staying here a bit more long got no problem... but after u snook me again.... i am so going to leave this place.......
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Date: 26/01/2005
Day: Wednesday
Time: 5.18pm
Today is the one month anniversary of the Tsunami Disaster that happened off the coast of Indonesia...
Well.... so sianz now..suddenly i regret agreeing not to leave until they have found a replacement for me in this place...cause i was so looking forward to having one or two weeks of leave and stay at home after all the work that i did for the past year or so....had to save all my leave for my exams studying and exam.... that i didnt even take one day leave to go enjoy myself... the onli leave that i took to enjoy myself was a halfday leave to go and eat sushi... hehe
Sometimes i dun even understand why i work so hard for things that wunt get me anywhere nor do i get and advantages out of it...
Day: Wednesday
Time: 5.18pm
Today is the one month anniversary of the Tsunami Disaster that happened off the coast of Indonesia...
Well.... so sianz now..suddenly i regret agreeing not to leave until they have found a replacement for me in this place...cause i was so looking forward to having one or two weeks of leave and stay at home after all the work that i did for the past year or so....had to save all my leave for my exams studying and exam.... that i didnt even take one day leave to go enjoy myself... the onli leave that i took to enjoy myself was a halfday leave to go and eat sushi... hehe
Sometimes i dun even understand why i work so hard for things that wunt get me anywhere nor do i get and advantages out of it...
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Date: 25/01/2005
Day: Tuesday
Time: 1.01pm
Yeah.... ps finally replied to my mail after one whole week.... didnt know that it requires one whole week of hard work to come out with a testimonial for someone.... but i am glad that he took that much time to write it... cause it is so absolutely fantastic!!!... best of the best... he managed to bring out the best that i did over there... even though some of the things he wrote there are not very the accurate as i onli did javascripting and some asp coding.... but the way he phrase it is veri the wuu lala!! onli someone like him can smoke such a wonderful thing for me... hehe...i so want to show off the thing to everyone... haha... shld i print it??? hmm....yeah i shld...
Day: Tuesday
Time: 1.01pm
Yeah.... ps finally replied to my mail after one whole week.... didnt know that it requires one whole week of hard work to come out with a testimonial for someone.... but i am glad that he took that much time to write it... cause it is so absolutely fantastic!!!... best of the best... he managed to bring out the best that i did over there... even though some of the things he wrote there are not very the accurate as i onli did javascripting and some asp coding.... but the way he phrase it is veri the wuu lala!! onli someone like him can smoke such a wonderful thing for me... hehe...i so want to show off the thing to everyone... haha... shld i print it??? hmm....yeah i shld...
Monday, January 24, 2005
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Date: 19/01/2005
Day: Wednesday
Time: 11.45am
Wah.... today they interview another person wor.... its a guy... he looks so old...hehe..
i wonder the first impression that i give to other ppl is that i am old.... cause the ppl here managed to guess that i am the eldest in the family..
lala.... mailed ps regarding my testimonial.. he neber reply wor... thinkin he neber recieve the mail or he dun wan to reply to a external unfamilar mailing address..boo huu...want to get testimonial from him also difficult..dunno wat to say also.
Oh no....hehe... suddenly remember that i have to collect my sch books today... then realise that it is not today... its on the 26th...next next wed..sianzz..
lalala.... just had lunch from subway.... kanna bluff..the cashier confused me.. asking me wat drink i wan... ask me wan small medium or large... then i just say coke....cause i thought that she noe i wanted the set... then i happily looking at the cookies wondering which one shld i take...lalala...then in the end when the cashier said.... "5.50 please"... i blur blur just give her 6 dollars and go away..long time no eat subway liao... yum yum...healthy healthy..lalala
wah.... i thought my life was difficult... it seems that jo the life is more diffcult...went for meeting then kanna from the chairman..cause she neber bring the printed notes cause she wasnt informed...the go lunch also neber gio her...
Day: Wednesday
Time: 11.45am
Wah.... today they interview another person wor.... its a guy... he looks so old...hehe..
i wonder the first impression that i give to other ppl is that i am old.... cause the ppl here managed to guess that i am the eldest in the family..
lala.... mailed ps regarding my testimonial.. he neber reply wor... thinkin he neber recieve the mail or he dun wan to reply to a external unfamilar mailing address..boo huu...want to get testimonial from him also difficult..dunno wat to say also.
Oh no....hehe... suddenly remember that i have to collect my sch books today... then realise that it is not today... its on the 26th...next next wed..sianzz..
lalala.... just had lunch from subway.... kanna bluff..the cashier confused me.. asking me wat drink i wan... ask me wan small medium or large... then i just say coke....cause i thought that she noe i wanted the set... then i happily looking at the cookies wondering which one shld i take...lalala...then in the end when the cashier said.... "5.50 please"... i blur blur just give her 6 dollars and go away..long time no eat subway liao... yum yum...healthy healthy..lalala
wah.... i thought my life was difficult... it seems that jo the life is more diffcult...went for meeting then kanna from the chairman..cause she neber bring the printed notes cause she wasnt informed...the go lunch also neber gio her...
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Date: 18/01/2005
Day: Tuesday
Time: 1.06pm
I going to tender my resignation today... suddenly i have no bad feeling for this job... suddenly i feel that its not so bad working here... and suddenly i dun mind shifting from desk to desk...
Isit because i have been sitting on the boss desk for two days straight that i feel more secure. Or isit because i have become more confident of taking up calls.... handling ppl... or isit i am not getting alot of irritating ppl.... to ruin everyones life... Or isit because i am scarded that i cannot get another position somewhere else with this pay that they are giving me...i think that is the main main reason that i am scarded...Money money money money... everything is revolving around money these days...and i have yet to give the monthly payment to dad for the installment of the car...maybe maybe... I simply have no confidence in my abilities... and i doubt there would be anyone who would give me 1.8 again...Sianzz...
But i have already told my boss liao... so i can back out of this liao.... so i will have to learn to my fullest abilities the things that are around here....the things that i can pick up here...i shldnt regret my decision... everything about life is about decision.... if i always regret... how to move on.... just as how i didnt move on earlier while i was in SIA... made me have a lack of adequate knowledge in IT support skills.... so its right... i must move on... move on to another place where i would enjoy myself more throughly...to perform to the best of my abilities... okok... its decided... all uncertainthties would have to be faced with courage...!!! ONWARDS!!!
Wah... so fast wanna interview new ppl liao..... they strong ar....haiyah best..it for their own good also... they better get the infrastructure ready for the new person... otherwise mad again...
Day: Tuesday
Time: 1.06pm
I going to tender my resignation today... suddenly i have no bad feeling for this job... suddenly i feel that its not so bad working here... and suddenly i dun mind shifting from desk to desk...
Isit because i have been sitting on the boss desk for two days straight that i feel more secure. Or isit because i have become more confident of taking up calls.... handling ppl... or isit i am not getting alot of irritating ppl.... to ruin everyones life... Or isit because i am scarded that i cannot get another position somewhere else with this pay that they are giving me...i think that is the main main reason that i am scarded...Money money money money... everything is revolving around money these days...and i have yet to give the monthly payment to dad for the installment of the car...maybe maybe... I simply have no confidence in my abilities... and i doubt there would be anyone who would give me 1.8 again...Sianzz...
But i have already told my boss liao... so i can back out of this liao.... so i will have to learn to my fullest abilities the things that are around here....the things that i can pick up here...i shldnt regret my decision... everything about life is about decision.... if i always regret... how to move on.... just as how i didnt move on earlier while i was in SIA... made me have a lack of adequate knowledge in IT support skills.... so its right... i must move on... move on to another place where i would enjoy myself more throughly...to perform to the best of my abilities... okok... its decided... all uncertainthties would have to be faced with courage...!!! ONWARDS!!!
Wah... so fast wanna interview new ppl liao..... they strong ar....haiyah best..it for their own good also... they better get the infrastructure ready for the new person... otherwise mad again...
Friday, January 14, 2005
Date: 14/01/2005
Day: Friday
Time: 10.54am change to 12.18pm
lalala.... today is friday...yeah yeah!!.. well i have been here for two weeks already and my working enviroment still hasnt improved... as in that i am still moving from desk to desk everyday..
In my first week.. of shifting here and there...i was cursing and swearing and cursing everyday of my life...and now my mood has changed from curse to bo bian...to accepting that i am not going to be able to have any desk assigned to me within month...
I am so comtemplating about wether i shld resign this job or not...since i was so UNHAPPY about it... that now i am a bit used to the enviroment liao..but i still dun like not owning a piece of furniture..blar blar blar... then happily my public enemy no 1 called.... didnt want to pick up the call but everyone else was engaged on the line... so cannot siam siam siam...hear her call already my mood to quit come rushing up again....
Day: Friday
Time: 10.54am change to 12.18pm
lalala.... today is friday...yeah yeah!!.. well i have been here for two weeks already and my working enviroment still hasnt improved... as in that i am still moving from desk to desk everyday..
In my first week.. of shifting here and there...i was cursing and swearing and cursing everyday of my life...and now my mood has changed from curse to bo bian...to accepting that i am not going to be able to have any desk assigned to me within month...
I am so comtemplating about wether i shld resign this job or not...since i was so UNHAPPY about it... that now i am a bit used to the enviroment liao..but i still dun like not owning a piece of furniture..blar blar blar... then happily my public enemy no 1 called.... didnt want to pick up the call but everyone else was engaged on the line... so cannot siam siam siam...hear her call already my mood to quit come rushing up again....
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Date: 11/01/2005
Day: Tuesday
Time: 12.30pm
haha... this is the second day of the week that i am going to give this job consideration..wether to stay or to leave... that is the question... is this wat i want.... does this place allow me to grow in knowledge and skills...
Well... to summarise the skills that i have learnt for the past one week and one day...i learnt how to pick up calls properly...how not to tell ppl that i am new... how to fake knowledgeable when i dunt know anything... how to eat lunch with myself... how to migrate to a different table everyday... first day sit around....2nd day sit on leader desk.. 3rd and 4th day sit on boss desk... 5th day sit at someones desk... yesterday sit at someones desk then migrate to boss desk...then today.. sitting at boss desk again... Its amazing how i was told to start picking up calls on the second day of work...and giving fake advise to users..lalala...
Day: Tuesday
Time: 12.30pm
haha... this is the second day of the week that i am going to give this job consideration..wether to stay or to leave... that is the question... is this wat i want.... does this place allow me to grow in knowledge and skills...
Well... to summarise the skills that i have learnt for the past one week and one day...i learnt how to pick up calls properly...how not to tell ppl that i am new... how to fake knowledgeable when i dunt know anything... how to eat lunch with myself... how to migrate to a different table everyday... first day sit around....2nd day sit on leader desk.. 3rd and 4th day sit on boss desk... 5th day sit at someones desk... yesterday sit at someones desk then migrate to boss desk...then today.. sitting at boss desk again... Its amazing how i was told to start picking up calls on the second day of work...and giving fake advise to users..lalala...
Monday, January 10, 2005
Location: Office
Feelings now: Now toking to some person called Dorcas Tan... she trying to make the notifications of her lotus notes work properly... last time can work.. now cannot... dunno why... so now trying to get remote access to her pc to help see see wether can help her set set or not...lalalallalalala..four and a half more days till my trial for myself is over... otherwise.... lalalalala... madness to the unemployed..Haizz... wanna chat with someone..but i keep on finding myself complaining whenever i start chatting...then i would feel all depressed about my situation here... i noe that i can learn alot of things here if i have the heart to do so... but then i think that i dont have the heart to learn all these new things because i am trying to resist the changes in my life... the comforts of being the best there was around in the department... the safehouse feeling...haha... now i complaining to the notepad liao...hahaha...
Feelings now: Now toking to some person called Dorcas Tan... she trying to make the notifications of her lotus notes work properly... last time can work.. now cannot... dunno why... so now trying to get remote access to her pc to help see see wether can help her set set or not...lalalallalalala..four and a half more days till my trial for myself is over... otherwise.... lalalalala... madness to the unemployed..Haizz... wanna chat with someone..but i keep on finding myself complaining whenever i start chatting...then i would feel all depressed about my situation here... i noe that i can learn alot of things here if i have the heart to do so... but then i think that i dont have the heart to learn all these new things because i am trying to resist the changes in my life... the comforts of being the best there was around in the department... the safehouse feeling...haha... now i complaining to the notepad liao...hahaha...
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Haizz... today is thursday....my 4th day of work at my new place...
Wanted to put in all my feelings that i had on the first day but was too depressed to do so...
Really miss all my friends at SIA... all the people that i knew... all the ppl that knew me...haizz
Didnt realise how much their companionship meant to me until the very last moment...its as what people says "You dont know what you have until you lose them, so treasure every moment that you have."
Well... speaking about my new place... well... its located in a bank in Suntec... dun think i will disclose the banks name in case i get caught...working as an onsite helpdesk analyst...sounds nice right...."Analyst".. which means to analyse things... yup... and i am so analysing at my workplace... analysing what the heck the caller on the line is thinking....
Everyday i keep on asking myself a few questions "Is this what i really want? Is this what i want to pursue... is this the line of work that would allow me to show my fullest potential..will i shine through like i always do when i am concentrated on my work?? Do i regret my decision to leave SIA at a moment like this? Did i really want to leave SIA? Do i really want to climb up the social and corporate ladder and to rise among the talents??" all these questions keep bugging my mind...haizz...
Long ago while i was in SIA... everytime i kanna from mike.. i would feel like leaving and just leave the work for others to carry... but everytime something would stop me... i think its because i dunt want my friends to get too overloaded... too stressed...too frustrated...so i have always been unable to be successful in my job interviews.. and if i were to be quite successful... so thing would happen and i would lose the job.... haha... its as though GOD knew of the promise that i made to myself that i would only leave after the whole project was over...
But now my heart keeps on telling me to just run away... find somewhere else to hide... this job doesnt suit me.... i am not liked...not welcomed... Its so bad that i feel that i would explode or breakdown anytime soon... I was telling myself a year back that my status in SIA would never move forward... i would never be promoted... there would never be a pay rise...and i want to move to somewhere else where i can be promoted or at least go up one or two levels.. i dunt ask for more nor aspire to become a CEO... i just want to be rewarded for my hard work that i have given to the company...
And now that i have landed in a place where the possibility to move forward.... to be able to be rewarded for hard work... a place where i might get some recogniation... a place where promotion is possible....and i AM NOT HAPPY.... Why am i not happy???
Isit because i dont have a desk that i can call my own.... isit because i dont even have a chair to sit on.... isit because i dont feel welcome to their group.... isit because everyone seems so powerful and skillful.... isit because i dont even get a proper briefing from my boss....nor a proper orientation.... isit because everything is so restrictive... isit because i cant speak my mother tounge to anyone... isit because i was lazying around too much in SIA though i worked as hard.... isit because i dont feel comfortable to new places, new people, new attitudes...isit because there seems to be a lack of belonging that i feel....
WHY AM I FEELING THIS???? I used to be able to adjust... i used to be able to accept changes like the clouds accept the wind... i used to be able to cope with learning new things... i used to be power orientated.... i used to like a challenge...WHY??? WHY?? WHY???
My friends keep on telling me that its going to take sometime before i get used to the enviroment... but how do you get used to an enviroment where there is no proper place for you to work on... no proper place for me to even store my bag nor my cup...my paper, my book, my pens...NO.... i have nonthing.... I finally understand how some of my friends felt during their first week at Sia... but thats all too different too....Sia didnt expect us to work like experts on their second day at work.... didnt expect us not to call ourself a newbie...didnt exert pressure and stress on us..... ARGG.... i feel so depressed..... i am so sinking into depression..... DEPRESSION!!!!... haizz... i better stop this before i become obsessed...... arggggg....
Wanted to put in all my feelings that i had on the first day but was too depressed to do so...
Really miss all my friends at SIA... all the people that i knew... all the ppl that knew me...haizz
Didnt realise how much their companionship meant to me until the very last moment...its as what people says "You dont know what you have until you lose them, so treasure every moment that you have."
Well... speaking about my new place... well... its located in a bank in Suntec... dun think i will disclose the banks name in case i get caught...working as an onsite helpdesk analyst...sounds nice right...."Analyst".. which means to analyse things... yup... and i am so analysing at my workplace... analysing what the heck the caller on the line is thinking....
Everyday i keep on asking myself a few questions "Is this what i really want? Is this what i want to pursue... is this the line of work that would allow me to show my fullest potential..will i shine through like i always do when i am concentrated on my work?? Do i regret my decision to leave SIA at a moment like this? Did i really want to leave SIA? Do i really want to climb up the social and corporate ladder and to rise among the talents??" all these questions keep bugging my mind...haizz...
Long ago while i was in SIA... everytime i kanna from mike.. i would feel like leaving and just leave the work for others to carry... but everytime something would stop me... i think its because i dunt want my friends to get too overloaded... too stressed...too frustrated...so i have always been unable to be successful in my job interviews.. and if i were to be quite successful... so thing would happen and i would lose the job.... haha... its as though GOD knew of the promise that i made to myself that i would only leave after the whole project was over...
But now my heart keeps on telling me to just run away... find somewhere else to hide... this job doesnt suit me.... i am not liked...not welcomed... Its so bad that i feel that i would explode or breakdown anytime soon... I was telling myself a year back that my status in SIA would never move forward... i would never be promoted... there would never be a pay rise...and i want to move to somewhere else where i can be promoted or at least go up one or two levels.. i dunt ask for more nor aspire to become a CEO... i just want to be rewarded for my hard work that i have given to the company...
And now that i have landed in a place where the possibility to move forward.... to be able to be rewarded for hard work... a place where i might get some recogniation... a place where promotion is possible....and i AM NOT HAPPY.... Why am i not happy???
Isit because i dont have a desk that i can call my own.... isit because i dont even have a chair to sit on.... isit because i dont feel welcome to their group.... isit because everyone seems so powerful and skillful.... isit because i dont even get a proper briefing from my boss....nor a proper orientation.... isit because everything is so restrictive... isit because i cant speak my mother tounge to anyone... isit because i was lazying around too much in SIA though i worked as hard.... isit because i dont feel comfortable to new places, new people, new attitudes...isit because there seems to be a lack of belonging that i feel....
WHY AM I FEELING THIS???? I used to be able to adjust... i used to be able to accept changes like the clouds accept the wind... i used to be able to cope with learning new things... i used to be power orientated.... i used to like a challenge...WHY??? WHY?? WHY???
My friends keep on telling me that its going to take sometime before i get used to the enviroment... but how do you get used to an enviroment where there is no proper place for you to work on... no proper place for me to even store my bag nor my cup...my paper, my book, my pens...NO.... i have nonthing.... I finally understand how some of my friends felt during their first week at Sia... but thats all too different too....Sia didnt expect us to work like experts on their second day at work.... didnt expect us not to call ourself a newbie...didnt exert pressure and stress on us..... ARGG.... i feel so depressed..... i am so sinking into depression..... DEPRESSION!!!!... haizz... i better stop this before i become obsessed...... arggggg....